He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
