Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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