I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
you made out with another girl for some wings
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
