Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
