At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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