A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Randomize
