I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I want to have your abortion
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
