I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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