Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize
