I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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