Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
