I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
