Fine. I'll sleep in my office
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
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