Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
