Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
My feet surprised me
Randomize
