As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Randomize
