I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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