it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
