don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
