you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
