Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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