You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
