Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
