The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Come on in and take your pants off
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