I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
