He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
