I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
you made out with another girl for some wings
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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