before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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