Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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