Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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