Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Randomize
