LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
