Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
