What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
