I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
