Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
one might say we're banned from that church
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
