im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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