White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Randomize
