I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
