omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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