My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
