The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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