I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
