she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
