i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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