Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I can't turn off my feet"
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
