I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
