I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
