Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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