reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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