Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
