I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
