dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
