youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Randomize
